Kopper Krozy

Friendships are alot like drugs. Short lived highs are followed by painful periods of withdrawl.

Everything is conditional, no matter how much we dislike the notion, and attempt to live in a utopian world. And yet I remind myself how boring such a world would be. Imagine if life was perfect. Where nothing was out of line. And there lies the problem. The paradox. Chaos and Order are inter-reliant upon each other. You cannot have the concept of either without the balance that its opposition provides.

Women are much the same. For a period, things are good, then they come crashing down, until you get so sick of it that you stay away. And then in your solitude you recall good times you've had, and desire them once more. Only this time you'll do things different. This time you'll have higher standards. And so you find another, with a new set of problems that starts the cycle anew. This was the way of things with my first and second wives. Yes, I've been married twice. I've seen enough crap in relationships to take a long breather. A year or so perhaps before really thinking about a new one.

The cycle. Life. A neverending stream of peaks and and valleys. At both ends of the spectrum we find ourselves in the happiest and saddest of times, with no particular endpoint having dominance. For when we reach a peak, we want more, feeling as though we've plateaued. And so we seek it. And in our darkest hours, we remind ourself that things could indeed be worse, and even sometimes dive in deeper. Its the journeys between these peeks and valleys that give us true purpose. Those periods of life that we actively strive for something different.

So here I sit, not knowing if I'm at a peak or a valley. Not knowing what tomorrow will be like. Who knows what the tide will bring. But I do know this... life is always changing, and I like it.

I've also made some other decisions. Some goals really.

I want to save more money.
I want to lose more weight.
I want to perform more miracles.
I want to exercise more.
I want to find some time to do nothing.
I want to finish reading this book.
I want to stop bending over backwards.
I want to play video games.
I want to fix my xbox.
I want to dream when I sleep.
I want to go back to college.

For now, I'm going to work on that sleeping one.

Ta-ta.

Current Mood: pissed off

Current Music: Symphony of Destruction

Lyrics to Rotten, as I hear it anyways.
Can't seem to find them on the `net.

Dress her up in baby blue.
Let her wear her diamond shoes.
Doesn't matter whatcha do
 .. She's rotten

I have seen it all before.
She ruins everything and more.
And if she knocks, don't open the door.
 .. She's rotten ... to the core!

Let it roll. 
Let it roll.
Let it roll
  till all of time unfolds

Baby you have always been
  rotten, but i love to dream
Baby you have always been
  .. Rotten.

You were young and very fine,
  the sweetest woman on the vi~ine.
I dont know what happened,
  I had forgotten... yea.

Everytime comes to mind.
It's rotten.. .. yeaaaAh!

Let it roll. 
Let it roll.
Let it roll. 
  till all of time unfolds

Baby you have always been
  rotten.... yeeeaaA.

I wont be a downbeat lover,
  took all my time to recover.
Used to dream, 
  but i dont bother now.

Leave those wishes in the clouds,
  it's easier now..  let it roll



Let it roll.
Let it roll 
  till all of time unfolds

Baby you have always been 
  .. Rotten

Let it roll.
Let it roll 
  cause i know time unfolds

Baby you have always been..
  (rotten)
Baby you have always been..
  (rotten)
  .. rotten but i love to dream ... yea.

I love to dream ..

Baby your rotten..
.. but i love to dream.

Current Mood: annoyed

today was a blah day. went grocery shopping. got some bread, pizza sauce and made pizza bread. it was good.

i need to find some time to just do nothing for a bit. relax. and think. not a vacation or anything. just a few days of not having to worry about stuff coming at such high speeds. just time to figure out some stuff.

ever get like that?

Current Mood: pessimistic

A friend of mine is going through a rough time on just about every front, and my ability to help has become very limited. I feel guilty because if I had made different decisions during the past year, I could have been of more help. Friend is emotionally drained, and seems depressed.

I'm drained and depressed just listening to the dilemas. It's the first time in awhile that my productivity at work is on an uptick purely as a result of me trying to distract myself from all the problems in the world. But even work can be exhausting. Analysis, analysis, reading, reading, thinking, designing, thinking, planning. I left tonight not getting everything done I wanted. My eyes were starting to bug out where spots go unfocused. Maybe its time for another eye exam. It's been 2 years since my last one, and vision issues tend to run in the family. I guess I can count my lucky stars, since as yet, I'm the only one without glasses.

Enough sadness.. I got a shipment from BMG today with 4 cds. Two Pearl Jam ones, one Live, and one by U2. I'm gradually adding to my collection, and at the same time, this too makes me feel guilty. Spending money on luxuries. I must be more frugal.

I also got another package from my job today. - Last week they sent me a box of stuff with my new business cards, including a ceramic mug, lanyard pens and more. The company is trying to upgrade its image. I must say... I rather like the new business cards. They have a very clean, precise type of technical, yet global look to them. The previous cards had a dark blurred bleeded edge on top with the logo, and partial flag. They still looked decent, they just didnt convey the type of image I think the company should be portraying. So the new cards are definately much better in that regard. Todays package is more of a recruiting tool. Its a folder with information about the company, and testimonials from a handful of people. People I work with. Good stuff. Maybe I'll pass it by my brother.

Current Mood: depressed